To the friend that lost a loved one

I recently had a friend lose a loved one and when you are states apart, it's difficult to know what ways to help and how to encourage without giving a physical hug or bringing dinner over.


Friend, my heart breaks for you and I am crying with you. It's never easy to lose one we love, even when they have been suffering for any amount of time.

What a relief for all when they are relieved, but death leaves a gaping hole in our lives that only that person can fill.

If we were closer, I'd wrap you in a hug (I'm a good hugger) and let you cry on my shoulder. Let's be honest, I'll be crying with you - silently so I don't disturb your hurt.

I'd offer to make you coffee or tea (whichever seemed more fitting for the emotion) and let you talk - or not talk - I'd feel out the moment.

When you were ready, I'd ask you about your memories of them, hoping that reliving some of the sweet times would comfort you. I'd listen to your stories and ask questions about them to show that I'm hearing you.

When it's time, I'd offer to make dinner, or bring dinner over - whichever one would be best for you, I'm flexible. I'd want to give you a present, but no present is really fitting for death and I find food a better way to show love and care.

I would insist that you call me ANY time - day or night - if you need to talk. I'd keep my phone on just in case you woke up needing some comfort or just to process things. (This I insist you can do even though we live miles apart!!!)

And I would pray with you. I'd pray with you, for you, and for your family's comfort. I AM doing this. Little is more powerful than praying with and for our friends and family.

Be encouraged, sweet friend, death is not the end, it has not won.




Love you friend,