I've shared so much about our struggles here on the Accidental Nomad Life, particularly lately in the heat of things. Now that we are on the other side, things are beginning to feel comfortable and I've had waves of nervousness wash over me - waiting for the next doomed phone call, or miserable news…
And I've been wondering, is that faithless?
The conclusion that I have come to is, yes. Yes it it.
The faithfulness that God has shown us through everything -
EVERYTHING - is not going to quit or diminish now that we have come to a
resting place. Even if something bad does happen, will not God be there to
secure us and guide us still? Of course he will. What foolishness to allow my
heart to feel discouragement in the midst of our beautiful resting period.
Andrew had a meeting with his boss the other day. I found
out that this was happening shortly before when I talked to him on the phone.
He didn't sound enthusiastic about it - he had been feeling discouraged, beaten
down, and like he wasn't making it doing what he was working on. He was sure
that it would be a reprimanding meeting, possibly even a, "well, you're
not moving quite fast enough, you're just not cutting it - we're sorry, we're
going to have to let you go" meeting. I could hear it in his voice.
My first thought was, "well, God - you brought us this
far. What is next in line for us?"
It was the first time in a LONG time that I did not feel
hopeless in the midst of a potentially hopeless situation, I just moved it to
the hands of Jesus and didn't allow it to cripple me.
At the same time, I have days where I begin wondering, ok -
we've been comfortable for a while now, what is coming next? What storm will we
be facing next? Let me get prepared for it in the meantime…
And while that is true, we WILL be facing another storm
soon, the hopelessness that I have begun feeling about it IS faithless. But the
more comfortable I get, the more I dread "the next bad thing." And
that too is faithless.
Why?
Because of the beauty that we have seen come out of our struggles
within the last few weeks.
We know, without a doubt, that God worked through each of
our difficulties. He provided, he comforted, he protected, he spoke, he worked,
he did so many incredible things in each of us. He will do no less the next
time we come to struggle. Our faith will be even more secure and grounded the
next time around if I keep my heart and my eyes focused on what HE is doing.
"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth,
do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the
desert." Isaiah 43:19
And he has never done anything less for us. He has always
brought beauty from our struggles, there is no reason to fear (ope, there it is…the
underlying emotion…) what MAY be coming.
I can rest assured right now, right here, for he is STILL
with me. And he will be with me in the next fight, and the next, and the next.
"My son, do not lose sight of these - keep sound wisdom
and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your
neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If
you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be
sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden
terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, for the Lord will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:21-26
Sleep sweet, friend!
I've struggled with this EXACT thought many times. After having had some bumps in the road, I've learned to never feel too confident standing tall, for fear that someone was going to come rip the rug out from under me. I love these verses you share here. This is so encouraging, sweet friend!
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