A story of restoration from destruction - part 1 (of 2)

I was in the dining hall, sitting in a booth with a couple of people that were staying out of the whole ex-boyfriend fiasco. We were joking and laughing about something and another guy walked up; he slid in the booth on my right.

If you've kept up with my story the last few Fridays then you might have caught the little hint of my hero...I wanted to share that story with you today.

 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. Genesis 50:20

Over the last year my eyes have been opened to the pearls that God is revealing that have come from the dirt in my life. I always knew that this was one of the main ones and it's so fun to reflect on that...

So he slid in next to me and began joking with us. He was the strong silent type, lanky build, grubby looking facial hair beginning to come in. I couldn't help thinking to myself how hot he was...But really, I always pictured myself with someone made of muscle, thick, tall and burly - not the skinny soccer type.

He had dorky shoes and cut-off khaki Dickie pants but he was incredibly attentive. Somewhere deep in my soul I knew, he was the one. I was hearing a true whisper that I brushed off believing that it was just a stupid idea and I wasn't really supposed to marry him, he wasn't right. He wasn't my pinterest guy (no, there was no pinterest, I have been saddened to see girls creating pinterest guys for themselves - another time...)

Anyways, he was very attentive to me and I thoroughly enjoyed him. Plus, he was a fantabulous listener. And he could read me.

He would look into my eyes and he knew that I was hurting.

This guy that I had barely met would tell me to stop thinking and tell him what was going on. *swooning* (insert all the dumb heart eyes here)

We spent as much time together as we could on that trip. I don't remember how much we talked or what we talked about, it was more just having a shoulder to lean on that wasn't judging me.

"And I left the bathroom and went looking for Andrew. Because I met my husband on this horrid, traumatizing trip. My knight in shining armor."

I just wanted to be held. I wanted security, I wanted arms that would shield me in, make me forget the outside and warm my heart after the hurt that I had just sustained. All of the knives were stabbing me in the heart and I was bleeding for someone to pick up my pieces. I wanted something physical to heal me.

I went looking for Andrew. He was the only one that I wanted to be comforted by. I didn't know him well but my heart knew him. My heart knew that he would take care of me, be the protector that I had been searching for.

To my dismay, Andrew was busy making lunches for the next day, our other Andrew on the trip came out and chatted with me for a while and I went back to the sanctuary of the church that we were staying at.

Not too long after that MY Andrew came searching for me and while he didn't give me the hug that I was craving, he just sat and talked to me.

And then that scary incident happened with my ex on the bus, I sat down in my seat, put my knees up on the one in front of me and willed myself to dissolve into a puddle.

The bus took off and we stopped a a couple more places to pick up others of our crew. Andrew got on, found me and sat down by me. He didn't say much, he could tell that I was upset. I felt safe again with him on the outside - covering the gap between me and the hurts that were swirling around waiting to sink in.

After the trip, while we were packing everything up, he called his parents to see if he could ride the van home with me. They denied it so we just sent text messages back and forth the whole 24 hours home (nope, no snapchat back then either - we're so old...).

Once we got home we were friends on and off. Remember that little voice of my soul speaking to me? Yea, I bucked it. I have always tested the truth and acted out of skepticism. Sometimes it's just been easier for me to do what's wrong because I know it's wrong when I don't know what's right. Ever felt that before?

Well, we "dated" for a while, under the radar of our parents (which means they didn't know)...and I ended it partly because I was tired of having to hide everything, partly because it wasn't going anywhere and partly just because I didn't want him to be right for me. I was fighting it.

Andrew never backed down.

Not once.

He was always there for me. Especially when I needed him the most.

I mentioned that after the missions trip I gave up on my faith to a degree. At that point I was spending time with someone that wasn't healthy for me. She and I became close friends initiated from our hurting hearts. She met a guy at country fest (or one of those summer music festivals) and she began dating him even though he was 5-6 years older than us (super huge age gap when you are 17...). He had a friend that he would bring around and I began searching for healing through him. These guys were not ideal.

I was "settling" because I was feeling like I didn't deserve someone good. All of the guys that I thought were "good" turned out not so good or had straight up hurt me and I just wanted to give up on the notion all together.

Andrew was hurt but he did not give up.

He continued to peruse me and speak truth to me and encourage me and in the meanwhile I poured my own hurts on him. He listened, he prayed for me and he loved me through all of the dumb things that I succumbed to.

The day that changed my life was the day that I learned that the guy that I was "liking" had slept with my friend's god-sister.

I wasn't surprised. I actually expected it to happen but I still allowed myself to be hurt.

I immediately called Andrew. He didn't pick up.

I called a few more times. I just needed to hear his voice, I needed the comfort that he provided me, the security that I didn't realize I longed for from him.

He answered finally (it was like 7 am and he is NOT a morning person). My heart skipped but I looked past that and told him what happened. His response?

"Why are you being so stupid?"

to be continued...

You can read part 2 here now!


  1. You've got to be kidding! To be continued. . . . Good one! I was so interested in hearing how it ended. I know it will be great! I am so glad you found someone who listened and did not judge you. You all look so young in the photos.

  2. Haha! Thanks Zan! It got to be around 1200 words and I decided to stretch it out a day. :) Thanks for reading!!!

  3. […] Him out of and he has shown me the beauty from ashes that live there, like this story – part one and part two. (I also got to do some photo digging!) I also have had to do some healing from when […]